I'm back here ready to try again. Last time was April 2013. Since then I've been slowly falling back into this problem. It finally came to ahead when my wife said she was done. I've heard that before but I believe it this time. I've known I've been lying to myself and a lot to her and my children. Now I start again however I know I have to quit not just moderate. Step one admit that to myself now I have to believe it.