I talked to him again about it and suggested he just stay with me full time, but then he pointed out that last week he had a few nice days with his dad. They went hiking, dad didn't drink, they played tennis and took the dog out for walks in the desert, and he said he sees dad as 'trying' to get his life together and that he'd feel like he was abandoning him.
As for the license, he has to have his permit for 6 months until he can take the drivers test which will be in late February and yes, I've already figured out that I'll probably just buy him a car. And, as for Uber, yes, I've already told him to take Uber whenever he doesn't feel safe or if dad is too hung over, etc.
I'm going to push for the counseling and tell my son to take Uber there if his dad won't do it.
He seems to think that dad is on an upswing. Sigh....I know I need to advocate for him. I do not get sick time until I've been there for a year at work so that's kinda out and my office is nearly 40 miles from my house so it's not like I can run home for lunch or be gone and back real quick. I would have to take an entire morning or afternoon off for 1 appointment. I've done this before and I lose money each time.
Lots to think about. There are solutions but my son thinks for himself a lot now and I have to just encourage him to set boundaries and we talked about what boundaries look like today and things he could do to help himself.