Thanks guys for caring... I think it was a combination of, yeah I can do this. .. and woa, my friend is going to die, and everyone else is doing it so screw it! Just ran out of effort. ..I couldn't access SR either so prepped the perfect excuse. ..
I have my next counselling app on the 6th Jan, maybe a month appart is too infrequent. Maybe I need to find some actual people to face to face talk it through with... my husband is going to do the dryathlon for January, so we can do a month together... then maybe we will carry on!
Plenty of maybes! Maybe if it had been a disasterous bender I would have been remotivated! Who knows...
Trying to stick at it anyway, peace and love to all xxxx