Liz, it is only because YOU got out that you are now in a place to truly help your son. and only because you are working a program of self-healing and awareness that you even recognize the "problem." so before you got beating yourself up for what you SHOULD have done, or COULD have done, focus on what you HAVE done and where you are now
your son feels safe enough to SHARE with you. embrace that connection, and don't immediately make fast hard changes that could make him second guess whether telling you was a good idea. work on solutions WITH him.....