Originally Posted by canguy

Christmas is just too many ghosts... 5 years ago I was nervously awaiting a little baby boy, he was stillborn at 38 weeks.
Your life can change totally in just a few hours. A year later on Christmas day we're sitting in an airport departure lounge, she turns and says " I'm going to change my name". Divorce...

Every Christmas since it returns to haunt me....guilt, you wonder all the time what he would have been like....would be nearly five now. Would he have been a happy little guy?....tearing open his presents. Stillbirth is so strange....to the world around you it just never happened after a few months. She moved on fast, its all just wiped, gone, never happened. All that 'family' I had just instantly evaporated. All good christians.....dead baby is god's verdict. We puzzled over how anyone could accept a god that denied a child a life to punish the parents.

So Christmas is a sh*t day....I guess someone will tell me that drinking doesn't make it any better. But actually it does. Just for a while.