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Old 12-23-2015, 02:56 PM
  # 126 (permalink)  
Juno11
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
I guess it's time for me to check in. Thanks for all the kind thoughts everyone. I prefer if no one leaves the group as well, EVEN IF they start drinking. Everyone has good stuff to contribute here even if we're in different places.

So I wasn't too hungover today and I credit that to dumping out a big a$$ glass of wine into the sink instead of drinking it and dumping the rest of the bottle. Also, I woke up in the middle of the night and drank two large glasses of cranberry juice (I was so thirsty) and I think that really helped me. I got through today fine but was pretty tired, so took a brief nap this afternoon.

I am committed to sobriety but feel like a fraud because I keep deliberately messing things up. I say deliberately because I know it's in my power not to drink. Anyway, I think Winslow is right - the holidays are taking a toll on me and I caved. I'm not going to drink again - not over the holidays and not in the new year and I'm going to get more into working out again after this Christmas stuff is over with. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas and it's fun and all, but it has put a huge extra level of stress on me. So Day 1 = Dec. 23.

I wrote in my journal the following:

December 22, 2015: Off to Never World...

December 23, 2015: The Force Awakens

So I named my new counter series on my iphone "The Force Awakens". The last one that failed was called "The Miracle." Let's hope the force has more power than the miracle

Okay in all seriousness, I'm back if you can stand me and I do feel like a failure but I'm glad I have you guys and really hope Sydneyman sticks around as well. We can learn a lot from each other.

I'm a little upset that I contacted that ex last night - it turns out he has a lot of time on his hands and I have very little and he has wanted to "chat" (online) with me today. It's stressing me out because I just wanted to say hi, how are you - and go back to my regular life. Well, I'll have to figure this out. Over and out for now.
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