Originally Posted by tufty13

Hey guys, hope you are all well. Long post alert. I almost drank last night. I went to the supermarket and was very close to buying a bottle of wine, my knees went to jelly and my stomach was churning. I was very buzzy. It wasn't that I fancied a glass of wine, it wasn't even a craving. It was simply a case of thinking "f*ck it, I'm going to get wasted". I'm also planning to drink in the future. I'm not saying that I will drink, I'm saying that 'I caught my thoughts which were of the nature of planning'. They were very deep, far away thoughts. Far, far into my subconscious that they were almost subliminal but they were definitely there. I'm utterly shocked that a couple days ago I was surrounded by free booze and people that were wasted yet I wasn't inclined to take a drink but here I am on the cusp of returning to my old ways. I find that pretty scary. What helped was that yesterday (thank god) I'd posted here "I will not drink". I thought of that promise to myself and to my class mates and that gave me some strength. So thank you to SR and thank you to my class mates and to Dee for his continued words of encouragement. I will not drink today. I promise.