Juno you are in my thoughts as well! I do not know what to say. Who am I to say anything here anyway.
Been to work and its like haven't been there. I have had thoughts of moving back to Europe, departing immediately, but the what about my partner etc etc....My coping mechanism reaches for what I know calms me down, booze. Perhaps my AV looked at this opportunity and grabbed it perfectly when it could and it did. I do not intend to get drunk but admit I most likely will have wine when I speak to my sister more about this issue tonight as it will be a heated discussion if she has kept issues hidden from me for whatever reason. I am now waiting for mum in law to arrive from airport and apparently she is in a good mood, which is rare, just received a text from my partner. I am cooking dinner and then calling Finland.
I am not running away from SR but I do not see myself in the right state of mind to be focusing on myself until I have seen my mother and made the medical decisions that has to be made there. I feel like Juno that have nothing to contribute here until I am 100% committed to sobriety which I can not guarantee at the moment.
I do not "plan" to binge drink and give it all up. Not at all. I have gained to much since October both physically and mentally.
That is all from me now. You have all become like friends and I have felt REALLY, REALLY bad all day about letting you all down and you D. I am so sorry.