lizatola

I love me!!! I love my life today and I don't need a relationship or a man to define me at this point. My bf is just an added bonus to my life and I think it's one of the reasons we work so well together. He needs someone independent who doesn't need to be with him 24/7. He is building his business, has 2 very young children, and RA (an autoimmune disorder) that sometimes make life trying for him. He found that I was someone who fit for him.

I spend time with friends A LOT(both program friends and my tennis friends). I go to meetings and still actively work my recovery program. I'm looking for a career path but working 45 hours a week now and commuting 45 minutes each way, I'm still taking my son to tennis tournaments and part time home schooling. My life does not revolve around this man, trust me.

I can relate to what Double Dragons shared. I was constantly looking for red flags with my bf when we started dating and asking myself: do I actually like this man, or do I like the fact that he wants a relationship with me? I liked him. I still do. Actually, I love him. I'm physically attracted to him, we have the same values and belief systems, we see a lot of things the same but have differences enough that keep our conversations lively and engaging, we love our children, and somehow we put up with each other despite our shortcomings.

I am a people pleaser by nature. It's who I am. I give and I give and I don't think twice. I truly believe it's a blessing and a curse, only when people take advantage of me. I haven't seen that with bf yet. He gives, just as much as I do, and he's grateful constantly. Heck, the guy will thank me twice for just showing up and spending time with him. The man will wake up with me at 5: 30 AM and make me breakfast....just because, lol. We are both saying thank you so often that I wonder if we'll ever tire of hearing it from the other person, haha.

Thank you, Refiner, for seeing what I see....he's a helluva guy. He'll admit he's not perfect but he's never asked for perfection in return. He's very accepting, very laid back, has a good heart, is trustworthy, and reliable, and consistent with his behaviors and attitudes. I never have to guess how he'll be. He's always the same every time we talk, always happy to hear from me and always jovial and willing to engage in conversation.

My son likes him and sees him as a stable man.
I know that more will be revealed. I know that there are no guarantees. I don't think denial looks good on me anymore so I am in this relationship seeing it as it is in reality. I am grateful to program but also grateful that I have put the work in to get where I am today. I'm nowhere near perfect but I am so much further along than I was last year or the year before. I can't say enough how grateful I am to Al Anon and my friends here at SR.