Thanks for the list NT, that's a lot of work!
I feel like it's a little quiet around here the past couple of days
Hope everyone is doing well and just busy with holiday stuff.
I am ending day 5 and I made it through this tough night after my last day of work for 2 weeks. I exercised and followed through with my plans to stay busy.
My emotions are all over the place. I have so much on my mind, I am just trying to work out things that have happened in my life this year and start learning how to deal with it all sober, and not just for a week or two here or there, but for good.
There is a huge emptiness without alcohol, or the anticipation of alcohol, during a few hours of they day, that's for sure. It feels uncomfortable and sad. I just keep reminding myself that alcohol is holding me back from so much. And if i keep it up, not only will I never grow or find peace with myself or my life, but things will get worse. I have goals for myself, goals that cannot be achieved with alcohol in my life.
So, even when my addiction tells me that it's Christmas, and I'm on vacation, and I have had a tough year and I deserve it, and that it will only be one night, or just once a week- I stop. I think of WHY I'm doing this. And there are SO MANY reasons why.
I think we are all in agreement that it's ok to ramble here, at least I hope so. Sometimes we need to!