Originally Posted by lizatola

For my entire life, until recently I always felt that I was never enough. I remember hearing someone share in a meeting one day about how she, too, never felt like she was enough. It took me 3 years of program, an awesome sponsor, a lot of prayer and spiritual growth for me to realize that I am enough. That I am a child of God (a Higher Power) and that I am OK right where I'm at. I don't need to be anything more than what I am at this very moment, but I will always be changing and always be growing because that is part of the human experience. Growth, change, stagnation, more growth, pain, joy, setbacks and tribulations.

Last night, I texted my new boyfriend and asked him if he needed me to bring anything over when I go there tonight after work. He said, "Not that I know of. You are enough."

He has no idea what those words actually meant to me. To hear someone actually say I was enough, that my presence was all they needed. What a concept!

With my XAH, I squeezed everything out of myself to pour into him, to fill that empty hole inside of him, to meet his demands, appease him, twisted myself into a pretzel emotionally to avoid more pain or abuse or resentments or misdirected anger. I manipulated situations so that I could avoid more pain and I'd constantly try to predict what would set him off and then I'd try to fix everything in our lives so that he wouldn't get upset and punish the family with his gas lighting, passive aggressive attitudes and behaviors, the silent treatment(he was an expert at this one). I gave until I had nothing left to give and I, myself, became an empty shell of a woman who hated her life and wanted it all to just be OVER, and I was still left with a husband who wanted more from me. I can take ownership of that today because I chose to stay. I was in denial. I own that. I had choices, I just didn't see them while I was in the middle of it all. Today I have awareness and I can see my part and I can learn from what happened. I am grateful for the lessons I learned and I am so happy that I can bring it all in to a new relationship that is so much healthier than where I was before.

So, I'm here to tell you today: YOU ARE ENOUGH. Don't believe lies that other people tell you or those that you tell yourself. You deserve joy, peace, serenity, and happiness. There will be trials and hurdles in life, but they don't have to define your worth. Hugs! Have a great weekend everyone!!!