Hi guys, busy here with parties and potlucks all week. Santa party at work tomorrow. One of the attorneys dresses up as Santa and everyone brings their kids. It's very cool. I'm bringing the cookies and stuff for the kids to decorate them, frosting and candy and stuff. My daughter is excited about it.
I talked with my therapist today and we finally laid out a defined treatment plan that I feel comfortable with. I feel bad because I was pretty hard on him because for a long time I felt like he just wasn't hearing me or understanding what I can realistically manage right now, but I think we've come to an agreement. I just want to get back to where I'm stable again and then work hard to learn how to stay that way. It's clear to me now that I didn't put enough work into learning early intervention strategies. I saw warning signs, but I didn't really understand them and didn't take them seriously. Managing this kind of illness really is different sober. It's hard, and I can't hide in a bottle anymore, I really have to be proactive, and I am just starting to understand how to do that. I have to take this more seriously than I did these past few months. I am reminded that bipolar has a 20% mortality rate, and eating disorders are even higher. I really play with fire when I don't work hard to manage it and advocate for myself. It sucks tremendously, but this is my life. Hopefully I'll get to keep it.
I feel hopeful now, and grateful to have a solid plan.