Welcome to everyone new today.
Mera, I read your thread from yesterday to the end and was so relieved to see you were all right. I did not feel "qualified" to give any advice, but am very happy to see you here.
I couldn't agree more with forabetterlife's observations on choice. I really like that. This has been my choice to come down this terrible road and now I need to choose another road. Need to admit my mistakes in making this choice and look for and accept help getting onto that better road. And for me ... most of all ... making sure that AV that keeps luring me down this wretched road starts to learn she is not taking over again!