Hi everyone.
I went to the gym today and it felt better already - just on Day 2.
But I'm a teeny bit wiser in now I know the feeling better in itself is a possible trap if I don't get to the underlying issues. That's what happened before - just a week sober and everything was so much better - I was fresher at work so that was looking up and I was going hard at the gym so I was physically feeling so goooood about myself. And that's when the thoughts of "well, this is actually easy, you can make things work, you can feel fine" etc. etc. etc. And so that went predictably and I fell off very quickly.
This time I will look harder at the resources both here and more widely available. I didn't really do that before.
The resources about the AV are especially important to me because my AV speaks very loudly about the stuff that goes right in my life but never about the things that I have messed up because of my drinking. So I'm prone to falling off the wagon not because something goes wrong but because things look like they're going all right again.
My realisation for today is the 3Hs - that this is going to need more honesty, more humility and more outside help than the last time.
Sorry if I post long wordy posts - it makes be feel better to share these things.