Guys! ((Hug))!
My life has been a bit of a busy one! I'm glad. It keeps my mind occupied. I haven't been real depressed or full of anxiety being busier. Sometimes panic will smack me. I mean an overwhelming feeling...SMACK! I think I've done too much thinking about the past and worrying about things that haven't even happened. I have been overwhelmed with fear and anger and insecurity. I figured out I have been projecting the way I feel about myself onto other people. So I have been working real real hard on me. I'm making myself exist just for right now. I'm making myself take in whatever joy I have for this minute and embracing it. I'm making myself slow down. I'm making myself realize it don't make me a bad person to not know all the answers. I don't have to know what I'm doing in an hour either or tomorrow or next weekend. So what if the laundry isn't caught up and there's dishes on the sink. That won't be written on my epitaph I'm sure. I'm taking time to discover me. I don't know this person and I'm telling all of you to let me introduce you to yourself. I have needed to heed my own advice. It does help me to share with you guys, but it is really good advice and I need to apply it to myself too. I'm trying to let go and forgive. This all new me is all new to me and has been quite a transition. I'm slowly coming into the skin, feeling it out, seeing that I'm going to be just fine. I was scared and I think grieving too. Even at 145 days I'm still going through paws. Still having issues. But you know what, it's normal! I'm just learning how to deal with all my dysfunction, sober. It's ok and I'm fine and I welcome it all with open arms. Stretch yawn sigh. It's exhausted me but so much more better than any drunk time I ever had hands down! ((Hug))
I've got to catch up on everyone still. I apologize. I've had so much on my plate I couldn't add one more thing. I'm still supporting all of you and j still care!