Wolf I'm sorry your brother had to find out how little we can be at cause for another so bluntly. No one could stop us from drinking or make us quit. We each know that. I hope your brother lets his departed friend go his way because its a done deal. We all looked over that edge of oblivion every time we picked up. Every time. Sometimes a person's bottom is death. None of us can be at effect for another. None of that helps. The mind can understand intellectually but the hearts lags weeks behind. Aw hell, life doesn't get any better with sobriety, we do. But a big bump still rocks us on our heels.
Let him have his grief. I lost my brother the month after I quit five years and a few months ago. It had nothing to do with my sobriety. Grief isn't better or worse sober, just grief.
<sigh>