Mecanix. Thanks for your understanding. Look on one level, I know what you say is absolutely right. It's the process of letting it go that I find so hard. I know in my head that I need to ignore it and just worry about my own recovery. But there's got to be some process here of getting from the place I am at the moment - full of fear and anger about it - to the place I want to be, a quiet shrug of the shoulders and a sense that everyone has their own journey. Intellectually I know where I want to get to but I'm stuck in an obsession about it which is eating away at my serenity all the time.