Hi endless, when something's bothering you to the extent that it's endangering your sobriety and smoke-free status, then it's really important you get to the bottom of it.
I suggest you start by discussing with your doctor who will understand your frustration completely (imagine how they feel when patients won't stop smoking). Your doctor can refer you to a counsellor, which might cost a bit but much less than if you start smoking and drinking again.
Drinking 4 times in a month pretty much puts you back where you started, because all the receptors in your brain are training themselves to crave again. Remember when every time you needed something in your life your go-to was alcohol? Well you're heading back there fast.
I could go on about looking after your side of the street, but you know this. You just need to get to the bottom of these strong reactions to smoking. I don't think it will be too hard with the help of a professional.