Neverthought

You are welcome CNGY. It's funny you mention/noticed that you were on top of list. After I compiled it, I thought, oh look, CNGY is at the top of list. I think he's going to appreciate that. I especially enjoyed and envisioned the hairflip....nice touch.

I've come a long way on SR. When I first joined I banged out over (2) months and was feeling pretty entitled and somewhat arrogant about sobriety. Then of course, I crashed and burned. I disappeared for about 10 months. Every year since I've come back and managed 2 to 3 months of sobriety in row. Every relapse, albeit only a few months of sobriety, has humbled me. I'm still very defensive and over justify my problem, but I'm trying to put the gloves down.

I'll admit, it's very difficult and challenging (and eventually life threatening) for me to quit, though I truly want to. Alcohol is everywhere, it's in my past, it's brought on by peer pressure both now and then, it's in my family, it's always discussed in my work environment. Sometimes I'm torn by loyalty, sometimes it's stress, sometimes it's the force of habit and of course, it's part of my addiction.

I guess my point is, which came to light by SleepyDots and CNGY thanking me for compiling this list (which many classes do), is that the more I accept my problem and immerse myself in SR the more real I feel about myself. Sure, I disappear from time to time, but it's because I get defensive and I try to justify why I drink and then feel that I'll never be able to quit, and I just give up.

The bottom line is that I want to do more on SR for everyone struggle with alcoholism, just like I am. I'm still developing my sobriety tools or as Dee says, my sober muscles. The more I accept and give back the further I progress. It's real!

Thanks for listening! I'm working out day (5) as we speak.