Originally Posted by
OMD 
Hi all,
So here is my update. I like being sober, no question, who wouldn't, but after nearly 7 months, I also miss drinking. I miss the camaraderie, the social side. I also miss turning off, going from 100mph to 0 within 10 mins after coming through the door. I miss the effect that alcohol has.
OMD
OMD, you summed up in your first paragraph the very two things that I miss about drinking. I do miss going out with my coworkers and having a couple of drinks while discussing the workplace. This used to be a weekly occurrence that I was alway invited to. When I quit drinking, I just began declining the invites, and now I no longer get asked. I don't take it personally, these folks are still my friends, and they probably think they are doing me a favor by not inviting me out. Still, I really do miss the camaraderie that occurred within the four walls of that bar.
The off switch that alcohol provided is definitely missed by me at times. I often work 10 hour days with only 8 hours in-between shifts. My mind is always racing after work, and a few drinks used to slow it down enough to try to get some sleep. However, the sleep I do get is better quality, I feel.
At seven months out, it gets harder to remember the bad times. I used to have a video of myself on my phone of me getting ready for work after drinking almost all night. My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding. I was unshaven and looked like hell. I told myself (directly into my phone)that I was an alcoholic and needed to stop drinking. I deleted it after I quit drinking (almost a year later) but I wish I had kept it. Remembering the bad times helped keep me centered.
I have noticed my AV suggesting that I could probably handle a drink or two now that I have quit for a decent stretch. My previous attempts to moderate were during my full blown heavy drinking days. Surely, it is easier to go from 0 to 25 in a car than it is to go from 85 to 25, right? I have read many threads about people who have had just one glass of wine and ended up drinking for the next ten years. I really do get it. My brain chemistry got changed somewhere along the line. They have done studies showing the synapses of alcoholics fire like crazy in our pleasure centers when alcohol hits. I am pretty certain that I can not ever be a moderate drinker. Like you, I do miss some aspects of drinking. But at least for now, not drinking has made my overall life better, more manageable, and given me a feeling of being content with life that I value and enjoy. You are not alone OMD pondering these things.