Zoso,
You truly have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your Mom! I know I personally try to keep the thought that one day I will have to live without mine tucked as far away as possible. My mom gives me more validation in life then I can possibly explain. It sounds like your mom was pretty amazing and she raised some pretty impressive boys who grew into even more impressive, accomplished and outstanding Men. That's one lady that will be hard to compete with and has set the standard for who you may place all women up against, (not so much a bad thing). Often Moms are the glue that hold a family together so its great that even in the darkness of her passing you have maintained a solid connection with family and have re-established new/old connections that are giving you support through this journey. I know that in the very short time that I have been apart of this support forum, your words have given me a posture that I didn't know I could still muster. You offer so much strength and renewed faith in life and it's possibilities, not to mention the support you give that keeps so many of us going. I can only hope and pray that you get that in return! I find myself wondering the same things about love and trust and for some reason its much easier to tell someone else all the things that you need to hear and eventually accept than it is to tell ourselves.
Not only is it possible to be loved "warts and all" it is those flaws that you see, that will be what another will fall in love with first! It is this truth that gives me comfort. I hope that when your princess comes along she is worthy of the King she has found! Thank you for being the support we have all needed and please know that we are here to do just that for you! Even if we aren't as elegant at it as you.
Sarah