Made it through another day 1. Still feel like I'm fighting a fight I can't win. Really want to make it longer than a week. It's gonna be hard with the holiday season coming up and all the events that go with it. I'm way better at being sober when I can hide away from the world. Ugh. Going to bed feeling sad and broken. I feel like being sober is just another thing to add to the list of things I won't ever do. Sorry for being a downer, but it still gets me somedays. Have struggled with depression and anxiety and am on meds that help a lot, but today is just not one of the days. I was feeling so positive and all of a sudden I feel awful. I can't eat healthy enough, I can't stop drinking, I'm not good at this, I'll never be that. I just want to feel like I'm in control and I want to be the person I see myself as.