Joe, I'm really worried about you and I see from other posts that others are too. What can we do to help you? I saw your post yesterday that you were feeling suicidal, now you post this…
Where do you live? In the US? Please call a hotline. I know it sounds weird to just call a random number and not really have any idea what to say, but they will be able to help you. We are here too. Reply here and let us know what is going on. Or if you prefer you can private message anyone here. I am sure that anyone you wrote to would respond. If you are feeling an urgent need to communicate you can look under the user name for the green dot- that means someone is online.
I am guessing that (due to your young looking profile picture as well!) your user name number references the year you were born. I'm in my mid-30's, but I remember my mid 20's well. It is such a period of change, drama, heartache, growth, joy, misery, confusion- especially with an alcohol or drug problem in the mix. That said you have got SO much ahead of you. SO much. There is a way out of this hole, I promise you. Right now you need to hang on, grab any line you can.
Take care Joe, I know I am not alone in saying I will be thinking of you.