More self care today in the form of a huge meal of sautéed shrimp and steak. Lots of veggies, rice and beans. Cherry pie and coffee.
Trip to Target to stock up on the blackberry cucumber LaCroix... pajamas were 40% off so don't mind if I do on some soft pink leopard print sweats, ooh la la
All this stuff may be normal life but I really resented taking care of myself when I was drinking. I thought someone else should do it for me while I drank.
And when people would talk about self care, like suggesting a bubble bath or buying a special tea, I thought they were sooooooo lame. How was that ever going to scratch the itch that blackout drinking did? And I could take a bubble bath WITH whisky, a bunch of Ativan and a six pack to really amp up the 'self care.' Ugh. I went through a phase of that. I'm lucky I never passed out in the tub.
So I do the little, quiet things to reward myself and it's working. I'm learning to trust myself again. I know some thing is really wrong when I refuse to feed myself all day, out of apathy sometimes but usually it's me feeling sorry for myself over who knows what that day.
I know I mention self care a lot. I need to bc I'm in the thick of figuring out what that is and I'm seeing how it helps me. It may seem so simple to some, like super obvious and I am a dummy... But that's where I am right now and at 41, I really appreciate these comforting gestures. I'm learning what it means to love myself.
What do you do for self care? What does comfort look like to you? Is it a shopping spree, what kind of meal, a nap, a chat with a friend, a strenuous workout? All ideas welcome, gracias
xoxo