Originally Posted by Thumbelina

Hi all. Sorry I haven’t been around and posting much. Most of the time I just don’t want to be bothering you with my issues. Although it’s been a huge help to have somewhere to check in and have that sense of belonging in a way.
I have been sober for 26 days now. Its providing to be such an emotional roller coaster, I am really struggling to cope. The realisation that I had frozen my life for so long in this stinking alcohol camouflage has hit me harder than I expected. I look at myself and all I see is that nothing has really changed over the years, the life has gone on but I have remained the same (a few wrinkles aside that is!). I knew I had to change for a very long time, but it was just so easy to pour a glass and drink over it. Ironically, I’m not even craving the drink anymore; I’m just hoping that these emotions will subside and that I will not end up in a mental institution! It really is so overwhelming. I can now clearly see just how much damage has been done and how much I had concealed by my drinking.

Originally Posted by patricia68

I had a close call.

My husband is in a bad mood, we had an argument...my anxiety got out of control, I was shaking, my head spinning, I wanted to throw up.

Then I went for a walk. I stopped at the liquor store. But I didn't get in. I kept walking.

I had all intentions of buying wine, and then I remembered the last night I drank. The shakes, the sweats, the panic attacks...

I know I should be proud of myself for not buying alcohol, but I'm actually mad at myself. I ruined it. I ruined my brain, my mental health, I ruined drinking "normally".

I'm feeling hopeless right now. Everybody says it's going to get better...but when? I've been in this roller coaster for months, years...I don't know what "normal" is anymore...I don't know what peace of mind is anymore...