Originally Posted by Noolan

Day 2. Greetings guys, unfortunately this has become a familiar theme for me. I've been on and off SR for the past 20 months. My longest period sober was 9 months and I've had intermittent periods of 2 and 3 as well. I don't look at this journey as an all or nothing game. I've grown so much as a person and I am night and day different than the person I was as the start. The sources of the past few relapses have been a lack of effort. I become content and then get comfortable. The second I take a couple plays off, I get smacked in the mouth and get caught sleeping at the wheel. This has become a game vs. my AV; except there are no rules for my AV. It will evoke pain, depression, celebration, happiness, nostalgia, self admiration, and self deprecation. Whatever it takes to get me to use, because once I do, my attempts to moderate becomes a futile effort; literally like urinating into a 30mph wind. So I'll leave you with this video I just stumbled upon. It's obviously not about addiction, but it's logic is sound and specific to me. To paraphrase: if tomorrow isn't promised, who are going to care about? Yourself or the few you care for in your life? We get one shot; one chance to leave a legacy. We make our mark in life through effort and effort is between you and you. No one else has any impact on your effort. It's also free. It doesn't matter who you were 5 minutes or 30 days ago. All that matters is the next 5 minutes. What you're going to do now: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=07fhOVQ9wEA