I love your ramble V and am glad you got that out.
Recovery takes a while. A long while. Not to get discouraging, but I totally see that. Just tonight a close friend said he was getting drinks with work people after he got off. My AV kinda went wild for a bit. I didn't like it.
Truth is though that I'm way over that. Have been for years. There's no opportunity there for me. I'm at a different point in my life than him.
Memories can haunt you, but I refuse to let them bring me down (or at least I try!).