T2R,
I suppose if you're not ready then sobriety just ain't going to work at this time. Wish you well but before you really take that first drink why don't you re-read your first posts and see if you can remember why you came here in the first place.
My first post is horrendous and I'm embarrassed to read it. I'm in a much better place now, and despite knowing this I stil feel the tug, tug ,tug.
So I went for a health check and to see how bad my blood pressure is. My blood pressure was 142/80, which I thought was good for me. Before I went to the doctor I did do a lot of deep breathing so maybe I cheated a little. The doctor wasn't too concerned but said I should buy a monitor and check every morning and night.
I also had a urine and blood test. The urine test was great (that sounds perverse) and I'll get the blood test results either today or tomorrow.