I think I'm going to go back to drinking. I'm pretty smart and resourceful, so I believe I can figure out a way to drink safely.
Thanks to everyone for your help, and good luck with your sober journeys; this really is a great group of people. But I've come to realize I just don't feel like giving up booze at this time.
Don't worry, I'm not planning on drinking right now, or even in the next week or so, but I'm putting alcohol back on the menu in case I decide I want to indulge. I think I'm just a born hedonist, free-spirit and iconoclast, and trying to be a fine, upstanding citizen is something I really don't want to be.
Whew, honestly, I feel much better already. Sobriety was felt like I was carrying around an extra 50 pounds.
Peace.