Does the crazy come out when you have kids too?
We have a 5-week old girl - cute as can be. I have 2 estranged siblings and 1 more with limited contact (e-mail only). long story short - they don't accept my wife. 4 siblings left.
I've politely turned down an invite to attend my mother's giant thanksgiving with many of my siblings. For years I have refused to attend gatherings that include estranged siblings.
My sister-in-law (wife to worst offender sibling) emails me back with a long diatribe about how she would love to meet our daughter and bring lots of love and cuddles. That children are innocent and should be free of family issues. That would I please consider coming over to the big dinner - if only for a few minutes. That her and her children would love to see our daughter. No mention whatsoever of her behavior.
This sis-in-law has also said horrible things about my wife that I will not repeat here. Just trust me that she is considered NOT a part of our lives.
No contact for YEARS and poof, she's reaching out to meet our baby.
I think her kids could have access to my child, but it might be too challenging -
Why should I subject my daughter to the same stuff I won't subject myself to?
I responded with a thanks for the congrats on our baby and that we were not going to the get-together.
She responded back with her hoping that she could meet our daughter in the future - that it would be very sad if she didn't meet her, have love from others, and be cherished by my sis-in-law and her kids.
I need help.
It's like offering me this "wonderful" and "awesome" drink...that they don't mention is laced with poison. My SIL has had a history of treating the children of people she has beef with as less than. My niece has specifically complained about it. I don't trust her and don't want my child around her. She might be nice to an infant while being nasty to my wife and I. yuck. But, eventually, her criticism and judgment will show up when my child is older (start saying things like, "she's just like her mother") might come out. It's how she has treated my niece over the years.
Have other people had experience with this? As a child with parents who don't get along with their siblings and they introduced you to your aunt/uncle/grandparent only out of guilt? OR as a parent and you've gone down the road to see how the relationship turned out? what did you do? what were the pros and cons?
Thanks - I hate feeling like I'm stuck on something I can't get off of.
I'd really like to get off this merry-go-round. I can understand why some people go straight NO contact.