He never went
Just an update for everyone. My ABF never ended up going to treatment that day. It has been very difficult for me to accept, but I believe I now have. I have fully surrendered to the idea that "I didn't cause this and I cannot fix it." I have finished the book "Codependent No More" and it has been a life-changing experience. It completely broke me... to the point where I couldn't stop crying (grieving) for days. This book explained everything about me that I had wondered about for years. I always knew I was different; that there was something wrong with me. I went to many therapists, and NOT ONE said anything to me about codependency. I even told one therapist the first time I met her that I was going to try to make her like me, because I knew that I was a people pleaser and put up walls. That didn't even cue her in!
I never thought about codependency as it pertains to me; that was always someone else. My parents do not drink, so I was not raised around alcohol. BUT both of my mom's parents were alcoholics, so I learned my behavior from her. I can see her in this book, clear as a bell. This is her... THIS IS ME!
I do have hope though. Hope for myself! I know what is wrong with me and I know how to fix it! If you remember from my first posts, I placed all of my hope in my ABF. I was contantly trying to take care of him! He is an adult and he can take care of himself! And it is so obvious that I chose the name Caretaker! OMG! I want to change it, but I won't, because it reminds me of how far I've come in such a short period of time!
I really would like to thank everyone on this forum. You have given me a mirror. One that I didn't realize was for me to look into. I am looking! And I am scared! BUT, I can do something about it!
Thank You!