Originally Posted by Dallow

My plan didn't work. I couldn't make it through the weekend. It is not an excuse but here's why it happened: I have lived in Paris several years and have many friends, exes and colleagues there. I was in complete chock. I don't live in Paris at the moment but there were people I needed to get in touch with and people from my past called me and were worried. Some of the shootings happened in my old neighbourhood. I used to go out there with my friends and what I then considered to be the "love of my life". Maybe I still do. I didn't know if any of them was ok. Some of the friends who contacted me I have cut off during my years drinking, and now I had to face to talk to them and explain myself. Some thought I was living in Paris. I felt crushed over the incident and ashamed how I treated my old friends. I bought beers. I drank them. My friends are safe, as far as I know by now. Maybe I used it as an excuse, I don't know. But I am quite sure I would have made it through without this tragedy. Just goes to show how I react in stressed situations. I was so proud it was going to be day 20 on monday, but it isn't. I'm starting over. Hope the rest of you were stronger this weekend!