Good morning all! I'm at 20 days today. A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling great and clear headed.
Lately though, I'm feeling exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well and I don't seem to have the energy to do anything. ( Though it could be my depression talking.) I feel like crying all the time.
The good thing though is that I've come to realize what this "surrender" thing is that everyone talks about. It was so exhausting to constantly be thinking about alcohol day in and day out.
In the past, I realized that I had a huge problem with drinking but thought that I could fix it. I can't count the number of times that I decided I would cut back or try to not drink at all.
This time feels different. I realize now that I can't fix it. I have tried, I have given it my best, and I have failed every single time. I will never be able drink like a normal person. Alcohol will always lead me down a dark path of destruction.
With this surrender comes a sense of calmness and relief. I refuse to listen to my AV. I will not fail myself this time. I can't.
I hope you all are staying strong. Be proud of what you're trying to do for yourselves! Weekends are tough, but you guys can get through it!