Revisionary history?
How do you handle?
I will try and give a brief explanation and hopefully it won’t be too confusing. This short conversation took place last night. It started by rah stating he had talked with his brother (H) earlier in the day to wish him a happy bday. Brother (H) mentioned that a mutual friend’s (L) brother is in the throes of alcoholism and was spiraling downhill rapidly. (L) was having a hard time with it. There was verbal, emotional and physical abuse to the family going on. Financial disaster pending, etc., etc.
Brother (H) (as relayed by rah) stated that he (L’s brother) was NOTHING like rah when rah was drinking, implying that rah “wasn’t that bad” and then brother (H) went on to say he was really happy that rah was sober.
OMG it really pissed me off. This has ALWAYS been the viewpoint that rah’s family has taken about this whole situation. I truly believe that rah believes it also. HELLO – NONE of you had to live with this raging, abusive drunk. He was always the fun drunk (to them). The life of the party. Everyone wanted him around and at the parties when he was drinking. No one in the family saw the way he treated me.
RAH has always done this and continues to do this – he is the golden child, wonderful person and I am the b!tch, the one who took their fun friend from them and forced him into recovery/”made” him sober.
What sucks is yesterday was a fantastic day for me. I was in such a good mood and had just returned home from a great counseling session. This 5 min conversation just hit me in the gut and took the wind out of me and truly upset me (though I didn’t show it).
I didn’t respond in anyway. Really didn’t say anything. Just kind of ignored it and brought up something that had happened at work.
I cannot respond with what I want to because I want to process the information and form my thoughts and feelings before I do. The processing usually takes a little bit of time and then when I have concluded my feelings on the situation – the situation has passed.
I am SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD to the upcoming holidays and having to spend time with these toxic people. I dread, dread, dread it. I have for many, many years.
Is not responding and just stuffing it the best way to handle?
Sorry for the rant/ramble.