I am on day 14 and it's getting dangerous. This is usually the time when I cave in. My body feels better, but my mind doesn't - and I start to question, what is this sobriety really doing for me? I feel numb, nothing excites me, I just push through each day trying not to drink.
I have some difficulties in my life right now, and sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode trying to work everything out. I would like to get rid of my anxiety and my thoughts for a while...Last night I was prepared to take a bad hangover or withdrawals in exchange for a couple of hours of releif. But instead I cried until I got a headache.
Ambuler, I also have a hard time relating to total sobriety. I don't want another day 1, I don't want to be a slave to this addiction. I know that alcohol it's destroying me, that "it's going to get better" and all of that, but sometimes I just can't grasp it. I am not gonna drink today, but I don't want to feel like I do anymore.
It's good to see people are still trying here, still coming back even though some of you are going through really hard times. You are my inspiration.