Hey there LG, glad you are checking in!
I gotta say.... I see a lot of high-flying red flags here & I really hope you are treading as lightly as you think you are. You are SAYING you are keeping a distance but I'm HEARING a lot of emotional enmeshment & I don't want to see you get your heart stepped on again. ((((hug)))) I feel like you're dancing in the same circle, just slower. But it's the same dance.
Originally Posted by
LemonGirl 
The "relapsing" has gotten closer and closer together.... though it never seemed to get where it was before... or maybe I have just been getting better at minding my own business about that!
I'm going to offer the opinion that this isn't relapsing - it's drinking on his part & minimizing it on yours.
And my boundaries are: I shut my phone off at night and do NOT look at it (and god it keeps me up at night when I do!). I also will not hang out with him if he is drinking (which he hasn't even tried to do; the bottle was from some other time). And he knows to never come to my house after drinking. So far, these boundaries work for me.
This is good..... awesome that you shut down the electronics, but are you still thinking about him & what he's doing, where he's at, who he's with? You may be following through with plans, but rearranging or rescheduling them to work around his emergencies....
.....same dance... just slower, see? Remember the frog? One day the frog was just too tired to reschedule because the latest emergency zapped her energy & she never noticed the temperature turning up by a degree....
I'm just saying, Please Be Careful. Actions, not words. Actions are showing you hidden bottles & DUI's. At this rate, by next August he may be in jail. Even if he commits himself fully to recovery right this moment, none of that means you can make Life Plans that depend on him by next August. Trust doesn't happen on a timeline like that, ya know? But you can do a LOT FOR YOU in that same amount of time. A LOT.
What are you doing for you? Less than 2 months ago you shared:
A part of me even wonders if I really want to deal with possible relapses down the road. I'm really just fed up with all the alcoholism and bs I have dealt with my entire life because of things like this.
But I think you were
already walking down Relapse Road & not even realizing it. (9/19/15) In the past you have defined this relationship as "existing in a state of limbo", but is that how you want to KEEP living? What is the expiration date on "Limbo"? I know you deserve better!
