Foreverfuzzy - I'm sorry you're going through it again. Just concentrate on getting through the next few days and those feelings of shame and guilt will fade enough for you to face everything else.
I'm actually pretty good today. I have not drank and not really wanted to. I'm struggling to keep with the healthy eating though. I ate so much chocolate over the weekend. I'm almost feeling the same feelings of shame as I did with drinking but of course I've not affected anyone else. I went to the gym on friday morning and for the first time in ages had a really good session and felt great after. I need to get back into the routine of that! It's difficult though I'm so busy with work and the family especially with Christmas coming up it's hard to find a regular time. It doesn't help it getting dark so early. I'm going to try and go tonight though.
It was bonfire night here last week. We have always gone to a local firework display and in the past I have gone but been consumed with guilt about a recent binge or hungover from one - that's if I didn't miss it completely. My drinking has been much better the last few years (since my middle son was born) and I haven't missed a single one but going always brought back those painful emotions. This year was the first year I didn't have the flashbacks and bloody awful memories. It felt good just feeling like I was normal. I've come so far from those days when my drinking was really bad - I know I still have the odd binge now and again but back then it was a regular thing and I didn't go through a week without getting hammered and those weekend binges once a month or so would spill over into the week threatening my job. It made me think that although now I'm struggling with my weight and I can't imagine giving up my comfort foods, at one time I couldn't imagine going through a weekend without drinking and now I hardly think of it at all.
On that note I'm getting back to work. I'm pretty busy at the moment which is really good although my OH still isn't earning which puts a massive strain on things.
Have a lovely week everyone
