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Old 11-04-2015, 01:50 AM
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Hopeful22
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Tamap, FL
Posts: 7
Introduction- feeling scared and alone

Its been a very long time since i attended an ACOA meeting.
I thought i had learned to cope with my dysfunctional family over the years and detach. But i know that times of stress can stretch us to our limits and this is one of those times for me.
i am a single parent going through a rough patch financially, unemployed and financially dependent on my actively drinking alcoholic father and codependent enabling raging mother.
I keep getting dragged into the chaos they continually create and allowing it to take away my serenity.
There is so much stress on my plate, i am finding it so hard to detach.
I have cut off contact with 2/3 of my siblings who all they can do is judge and criticize me, i cannot maintain my confidence to interview for jobs
and listen to their criticisms most of which are unfounded. One is a raging alcoholic too so half the time incoherent.
I communicate with my parents by email and phone and i have to right now in order to pay our living expenses. I a, trying hard to change that and become self supporting and just grateful we arent living with them. I do not want my daughter growing up with an alcoholic i. The house or thinking their relationship is normal. It was highly emotionally abusive to me growing up. My daughter is adopted and does not share the same genes and i do all i can to protect her from the dysfunction
My goal is to become self supporting again and detach even more but its taking a long time to do this, i feel very stuck and afraid. I am afraid we will become homeless and there is no way i could take my daughter and go live in that abusive environment, i have no safety net and nowhere to go and am hanging on by a thread financially. And there is still so much competition for jobs. We are on food stamps but i cannot find any public assistance for rent money at all.
Ive always been strong and used to make a good living but my career field has changed dramatically over the years and my skills have lapsed.
I am also 55 now so age plays into this too.
But i am determined to protect and provide for my daughter. There is no child support as she is adopted from another country. But she is my love and my joy. I am so grateful to have her to love and to have love in my life.
She is truly the best thing to ever happen to me.

I guess i am here for emotional support and to read inspiration from those of you who have been through tough times emotionally, financially and with detaching. I feel every day like i am living on the edge and i it scares me... I hate the chaos because it the chaos i grew up with in an abusive alcoholic family and i feel desperate to escape from it again. This is not where i wanted to be or thought i would be at 55.

How have others her gotten through the rough times if you are forced to be involved with active addicts?
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