Amp, after reading the other posts, I am so glad you are keeping your perspective clear. I've tried moderation, and it doesn't work. Especially, it seems, after I quit for a couple weeks or so, I seemed to dig myself deeper. Right now, thankfully, I see the line clear as day. I could drink and go back to the way I was, or I could continue to fight for my sober life and continue to grow and be happier and happier, and more steadfast in my decision to being sober every single day. It is getting easier as each day passes, and I wouldn't go back. The thought just makes my stomach turn. I would really have to hate myself to go back there, and I can't even fathom the thought of hating myself that badly.
This week is again, a busy one! I don't know how I would be functioning if I was still drinking. I am juggling some major projects. It feels good to finally be someone who is almost on on top of their game. It will only get better as time goes on. I am clearly functioning now, not just getting by as a "functioning alcoholic", and I use that term lightly, because I was barely functioning 6 months ago.
I should have quit years ago!
But, I won't beat myself up anymore.
I made a promise to myself not to feel guilt, and that means I need to make decisions that won't have guilt as an outcome.
I am so glad that is group is going strong, even if it means the select handful that is left. I sent a PM to zab as well, he is developing his low alcohol craft beer and seems to be quite happy with that path. I surely hope he doesn't loose his focus on staying sober in the long run. To me, that would be impossible. I used to make my own wine and it would be darn near impossible not to get buzzed during the taste testing time, or the bottling time. My wine never really got to sit and age to fruition before it was all gone.