Hi everyone, sorry I haven't posted much lately, did write a post a few days ago congratulating you on your run London but my internet went down mid- way and I lost it... A belated happy birthday Scooter! Mine is on Bonfire night (Nov 5th), I'll be 35.....
Up and down sort of week here, enjoyed a new session at my local gym which I was nervous about but in the end enjoyed, had physio on my bad hip and they think it can be improved with exercise and more physio, the pain hasn't subsided yet but Im sticking with it and hoping it heals in time.
My Dad called around last Wednesday and asked about my Mothers visit over here the other week, they went through a messy break-up over 10years ago but he has a new partner says he's 'happier than ever' with her so when he asked I just kept it brief and said that it was nice to see her- he started slowly having a go at me and before long he turned really nasty looking for a response, he said some horrible, hurtful things and it shook me to the core, its tough as I have been trying to keep the peace with him in sobriety but he actually threatened me with violence by her sons if I dared say anything other than positive about his new partner! His actual words were 'they'd snap you in two like a twig'- nice, I tried to keep calm but inside I felt like a kid again. Lots of other stuff was thrown in including him saying it was my fault my mother left him (that really hurt).
He actually said at one point 'you can go out and drink again now and blame it on me'! Its took me nearly a week to post and even now I feel guilty but I do realise through sober eyes that this is wrong and although I love my Dad dearly he has verbally abused me like this all my life but for years I blamed myself and thought I deserved it but now I realise that I can't tolerate this anymore as a grown man and father myself. He's actually said that he wants no more to do with me and won't be sending any cards or presents to me or my girls over Christmas (he hasn't seen them since Easter anyway!).
The positive thing in all this is that I didn't revert to type and drink, I spoke to a few people, went to a few AA meetings and concentrated on being as good a Dad I can be to my girls.
Don't know how long it will take to blow over but I do know that for the foreseeable future I have to protect my sobriety and stay away. Im sad about it all but Im more determined than ever to stay sober and get stronger emotionally.
Im sober and I don't need to drink today and I need never drink again.