So here I am, AGAIN, trying day 1. We still had 2 beers left in the fridge from Halloween, and I OF COURSE had to drink them while I made dinner last night, and fast enough so that I got a buzz. I swear, it was like they were screaming at me to drink them...my mind just wouldn't shut the hell up about it, so I broke down and drank them. I have no idea why I allowed myself to buy the alcohol in the first place. That stupid thinking of, "Oh, you can have one or two. You've given yourself a break, you deserve a little fun on Halloween...", blah, blah. I guess I still think that I can drink normally one day, knowing full well that if I have one then I'll want another, then another, and so the cycle begins. I'm beginning to realize that I'm probably going to have to give up alcohol forever, because I AM an alcoholic, and I CANNOT just drink one or two. Ugh. I have this hope inside, though, that I will be able to get through this. I realize I need to make a solid plan to avoid being able to think that I should buy some beer, because hey, it's better that wine! (not) Luckily I'm pretty busy today, and I have a class for work tonight, so I can't even be tempted to drink, but tomorrow's another day....will be on here a lot trying to distract myself and keep focused.