Happy November!
Sorry I've been MIA a lot... still super busy.
I went to a Halloween party last night which was the first time in any of my sobriety stretches that people kind of commented on my not drinking. Nothing aggressive, it just kept coming up... people offering beer, then they were playing beer pong, then everyone was playing flip cup... I kept having to explain that I would play, but someone would need to drink for me. I do think they thought I was a bit odd. These are all very successful people with families and stuff who just like to party like they're in college sometimes, it seems.
I did have a stronger temptation than I've had so far, but it passed so quickly. They were playing music and we were out on this partially enclosed roof deck, and a song came on with this really loud driving bass. That sound, for whatever reason, was what set off my three panic attacks where I was convinced that something terrible was coming for me. I still get little twinges of fear when I hear deep bass sometimes, because I associate it with those events. So yeah, that was enough to wipe that desire away immediately. Also, I never really felt like I actually might do it... it was more like that feeling when you're standing on a cliff and you scare yourself by thinking how easy it would be to step off, you know? Even as I was thinking about hey-maybe-I-could-have-a-drink I was frightened of it. And then I stopped thinking about it all together.
Just got back from an AA meeting, just to make sure no little craving birds are building a nest in the back of my head. It wasn't that good but it reminded me who I don't want to be.
Hope you're all well. CBF, hugs especially to you.