Don't be too hard on yourself, quitting alcohol is a process and at least you're making steps in the right direction, you'll get there it just takes time and a lot of stumbling and getting back up again. I can't even count the times I was going to quit drinking and failed miserably. It's like leaving a bad relationship, it doesn't happen overnight but at some point you'll "get it" and it'll take less and less effort. Just keep making steps in the right direction and don't despair
