Because alcoholism is one of those conditions we can't "see" and we can't test for it, it's what I call an invisible disease. So it's hard to accept that the very nature of this condition is that we can't easily "control" it. When we relapse, we think of it as a moral failure. It's not! It's the pull of the addiction. That doesn't mean we can't learn to deal with it - we most definitely can. But for some it's harder than others - the strength of the addiction varies, I believe.
The best way I know to get back on the horse is to stop beating ourselves up and get on with the hard work of staying sober.