So today, Day 4, has been the hardest so far. I'm not feeling well, very hazy with a headache and troubles concentrating at work. I've been extremely irritable, and I hate that feeling. I was starting to get mad about the whole never being able to drink again thing, which of course caused that stupid voice in my head to go into overdrive.
However, I pushed that all aside and followed through on today's plan, which was to lift weights after work, stop at the grocery store (without buying wine) to get dinner, make dinner and enjoy it with my family. I feel good about accomplishing all that.
The biggest positive about today - and it's HUGE - is that I finally told my husband about my drinking...and my stopping. It's always been this elephant in the room, and we never talked about it. Probably because he's a smart man and knows that his calling me out on my drinking would have only had a negative impact and also because I refused to ever bring up the subject until now. I was really worried about talking to him because I (foolishly) thought he would look down on me. Of course, he was wonderful and has even decided to throw away all his liquor in the house and stop drinking himself AND stop smoking. He doesn't have a drinking problem, but he really does with the smoking. He's quit a number of times since we got married 6 years ago, but as soon as he drinks, he starts smoking again. Because of the smoking, he totally understands where I'm at right now, which is so comforting to me. Not surprisingly, most of my irritation went away after I shared it with him. I am SO relieved that I talked to him!!
Hope everyone's doing well tonight and is hanging in there!!