Hello my lovely Octsobers. I love you guys, and I thank you so very much for your kindness.
Well, I didn't get my work done. Half, maybe. My body couldn't keep going. I will finish first thing tomorrow.
I'm so glad to hear that little Huxley is OK
phoebe love. It's awful when they're sick.
Going to be watching Greys and Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder and maybe Code Black, Criminal Minds and Law and Order tonight....yes, kidding, I can't watch all of those today.
But what a smorgasbord of TV shows I have waiting for me. Makes me happy. It always makes me think of all of the times my mum used to say to me that I had a degree in television.
So...in the past month of being sick and having way too much time to dwell on things, I moved through a lot of grief and pain.
Arbor and
Briar know about this....I can't remember if I've told anyone else here...the best friend who abandoned me was way more than that. It was actually my boyfriend, and even though there were some pretty big issues with the relationship, I always knew that there was this other person in the world who really loved me. You know that feeling right? It's a beautiful feeling of security and belonging.
And when your partner literally disappears on you without so much as an explanation or goodbye text, well, all I can say is that it damaged me. Profoundly. And I need to tell you guys this so that I can move forward. I can't do that when I'm keeping a secret.
TBH, I think choking on this and not being completely honest is why I got so rundown and sick. And the main thing that kept me from getting drunk over this is
Dee's words in my head about how drinking AT someone never works...not sure if it applies here, but it helped. My ex has shown himself to be the opposite of the incredible guy I
thought he was, and he is not worth me losing my sobriety over. I am better than that.
Ok, me time is done.
Huge hugs for everyone. ♥