Thread: Arrghhhh!!!!!
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Old 10-14-2015, 03:29 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
FeelingGreat
Sober since 10th April 2012
 
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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Originally Posted by vvl71w View Post
The difficulty is accepting that someone I dedicated so many years & effort into has left me. Her reason is still that she couldnt handle the misstrust and me watching her. Only one of our grown up children speaks to her. I went through hell for that woman and she's left me a shell of the happy, fun person I was. I feel utterly humiliated & alone.
Hi vv, a little lecture for your own good; hope you will forgive.

Of course you are depressed, let down and feeling low but all your personality attributes are still there inside you, waiting to reappear. You will feel much better eventually I promise, better than you ever were with her. Try to avoid drama statements like you're a 'shell of yourself' or she's 'destroyed' you. That's not true; you've taken a normal size knock for someone newly single after a long marriage.

OK you have a huge gap in your life. What are you doing to fill it? Are you seeing a counsellor? Have you lined up some activities, spent more time with the grandchildren if you have them? Maybe you could buy a puppy or kitten. Yoga, hiking, charities. Spend this time working on making your life better. It will feel like hard work for a while but it pays off. Have you tried Al-anon?

Your AW is behaving exactly like an A does. You got in the way of the drink, you had to be removed. It sounds like she's not getting any better no matter what you heard.
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