Aww Ladybug, I suspected your hubby didn't know, but didn't want to ask becasue I understand the whole secretive thing. And we alcys get defensive and touchy at the most critical time we need to be honest!
You are safe here, I think we all understand the crazy motions our mind goes through to keep us locked into the addiction. I pray for you and for your husband, that he may support you through this. You really can make it though.
You wouldn't be having a million day ones if the will wasn't there. I think I had 3 years of day 1s before I came here. The endless, "never again".
At least you know you need to get well.
