I haven't completely lost memories from before I was drinking, but I've drank hard enough that I've made my entire memory of an evening fuzzy. (Including prior to when I started drinking.)
Sadie, hugs! Dust yourself off and keep going. The human body can recover from an amazing amount of abuse we give it. One day at a time. Don't let your fear of the damage keep you drinking. What's done is done, you can heal from this.