Oh man this is so true!
I am a recovering alcoholic new to recovery and living with my actively alcoholic mother and I can say that the most annoying thing in the world for her is when I ignore her attempts to get a rise out of me.
But when she gets over the annoyance, she is sometimes forced to look at herself and I can see the changes in her already. I know because I used to try to annoy people all of the time to take the focus off myself, though I didn't realise I was doing it at the time. It seems I needed to know that life really was horrible chaos and that everyone around me was as crazy if not crazier than me. I was validating my own behaviour.
It might sound like I'm trying to annoy her just for the sake of it, but actually I want to help her. Funnily enough, this was wrong thinking and the thing that helped me to detach was my switch in attitude. If I didn't concentrate on my own recovery I would end up miserable and so would she.
I still get annoyed, but I don't show it or keep it inside. I leave the house and go to a meeting or talk to someone about it. I know that I must try to keep calm at all costs no matter what but I can't fake it because she's so perceptive. It has to come from within so if my attitude doesn't change, nothing changes.
Obviously, it's impossible to stay calm all of the time. Trying is important to me though.
Just my thoughts
Edit: I got a little carried away! I hope I'm not out of place here in this forum. Or out of line with my comments. I don't mean to be.
Last edited by DolphinBlue; 01-31-2003 at 05:50 PM.